Seasonal Poem: Winter by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

Winter

by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

Shit, It's Cold!

The End

I love this poem for all it says with so few words. Its starting to snow and it's not going to stop anytime soon. Good luck to all my friends going to run with Mickey. I know of Dawn Helgeson, Ed Simon, and Mindy Elliot. Rock the magic castle! I did 8 easy on the treadmill tonight trying to keep my heart rate under 145 bpm. I had to wind the pace all the way down to 9:40 at the end. I felt like I was crawling but its just what I needed. I might have the HR wrong. I won't know for sure till I get tested by Blair. Greg and Blair are working on our plans for the coming season. Last night we all gathered at One World and enjoyed a great evening together. I'm getting excited about making some breakthroughs. My next marathon will hopefully be Grandma's with a pre-race focus on Delavan. I'd like to take my barefoot running to the next level and BQ at Grandmas. One step at a time it's really all about the journey. Stay warm and give yourself some extra time to shovel tomorrow!

Cheers,

Rob

Scott Willi's Advent Calendar

Your a Homo. If You Recieve This From Me It Means I Hate You.

I admit I am immature. I came across this product the other day and just had to get it on Faster-Than-Schroff. I would guess their milk is flying off the shelf in certain cities. Do you know what homo tastes like? Drink this milk at your own risk. Do you think I can get the Nielson company to sponsor Schroffy? It would be great to see there "Tastes Like Homo" slogan on his singlet at the next 5k.



Tonight was another crappy wet night for a run. However, being totally out of shape somehow made for a double negative and turned the whole run into a positive. I ended up only going a few miles but barefoot through the Hawley Hills Hell Hole as I now refer to it. It's Peoria's sharpest chip sealed neighborhood. What a pleasure it is to run in. Almost like sticking your foot into the mouth of an angry pit bull with each and every step. Someday soon I hope to be able to actually run all the way around that block without stopping to wince in pain.

Here's a great idea for an email you can send to the next jerk who forwards you one of those stupid chain emails. Enjoy.

KFC Introduces New Family Size Nugget

TheOnion.com

Man Zone Bed!

Magniflex’s Lamborghini bed features auto maker’s logo: the closest thing to that race-car bed he had at six. Built-in coolant: Mattress includes technology to minimize trapped body heat.

Local Couple Completes St. Louis To Chicago Spectathalon

Some local runners have been trying their hand at Ironman triathlons but two IVS members have stepped up to tackle something much more extreme. Michael and Dawn Helgeson competed this weekend in a 500 mile 2 day Spectathalon. The course involved a a 140km drive from Peoria to St. Louis, a 30 minute hot tub at the local La Quinta Inn, a 3 hour Cardinal Baseball game, another 30 minute hot tub, 8 adult beverages, one late night inebriated phone call to Chris Friedman (with singing), a brutal 10 mile run along the banks of the Mississippi River totally hung over, breakfast, a 220km drive to Soldier Field, 2 hours and 5 beers later a walk to The Hilton Palmer House and a morning drive home with VERY dark shades.

Well Done Team Helgeson!!!!!

Great Halloween Costume!

Tuesday I did 8 miles at 8:05 pace which represented a new best. I think I'm getting this finally. Last night I attempted 15 at get-er-done pace but I bailed at 12 mainly because I didn't start till after 5:30 and as slow as I move sans shoes it was getting too late to keep moving. Tonight I am thinking I might want to bike instead. We'll see. I'm definitely not in premiere marathon condition. As we get closer to the Screaming Pumpkin, I started searching for Costume ideas. Heres a great one! Bumble!!!!!! Watch how this guy actually changes back into a Camaro; too cool!



Af

Pigman Bio's

So as I prep for the Pigman 1/2 ironman and almost certain annihilation. Mike Krause, who's lined up a couple of relays for the race sends team members an email asking for bio material. Apparently the announcers, Dennis Green and Jon Weih are looking for material when you come across the finish line to give some color to the race. Sounds like a fun tradition; to give a tidbit or two about athletes backgrounds and/or racing experiences. They then can share them with the spectators during the race. Here's Mikes Suggestion:

Sawyer Krause -regularly trains with Aqua Man on Saturday Mornings at 7AM on CBS

David "Don't Hassle the Hoff" Schroff - changed his name to be more like his heart throb: "Baywatch" hero, Mitch Buchannon (played by david hasslefhoff). David was briefly jailed in 1999 for stalking, but he's okay now...

Michael Helgeson - Boasts one of the largest beanie baby collections in the Midwest. He's particularly fond of the 57 varieties of pigs in the collection

(Mike H re-writes bio:)
10 years of competitive running. First team triathlon. Would only be able to perform a triathlon on own if water were shallow enough to run in.

Rob Fennell -- Entered on dare by athletically gifted wife and relying on power of positive thinking over training. Isn't 1/2 ironman really all about luck anyway? On a whim, decides not to wear shoes. Wife agrees its a double good idea.

Shevaun Fennell -- is married to that guy running with no shoes. What else is there to say?

So, please reply to this email and tell us a little about yourself. First race? We'd like to know! Racing with a training partner? Tell us about them? What's your training beverage of choice? The wilder the better!

Reply deadline is August 12.


xoxo,
mike

Tough Call By Parents Of Olympic Gymnast

Marathon training is hard! It takes about 6 minutes a day

Hell of a week huh? They say celebs die in threes. First MJ, then that dude who did the oxy clean ads, who's next schroff?!? Just kiddn dude. Don't go freakin out now Shroffy. Anywho....

What is it about distance runners? Runners seem to be some of the most entertaining humans on the face of the planet. I guess thats why I like hanging out with em. I just finished reading Justin Youngs blog (again), The Cassidy Feed. Justin had me falling over laughing out loud. All those hours at LT pace has his blood flowing through the humorous part of his brain. If you've not read any of his posts I highly recommend you check him out this this is one about the infamous Boredom run. IMO, it's the little publicized triad of the steamboat running festival. They give prize money.....22 bucks. I've never seen so many hung over fast dudes show up in one place. But thats another post Donini!

Recently, it was reported in the New York Times that reseachers have discovered when rats are forced to swim vigorously for short periods of time, they achieved the same fitness as rats forced to swim 3 hour workouts. Regardless of your opinions surrounding long rodent swim workouts, a growing number of scientists now believe these effects occur in people as well. It's not called the rat race for nothin.

Well, ok maybe this isn't proof positive for a 6 minute a day marathon but wtf. How bout we try it?

OB Always Gets His Doritos

I do what I can to keep fit. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have plenty-o-fun too. But sometimes I get more than I bargained for. It's a goal of mine to be as healthy as possible when I finally do die (I need a decent viewing). So, I make time for fitness and try to eat healthy. In spite of my best intentions, OB (pronounced "Oh Bee") will always let me down. He can get me into more trouble than a phone call at 2 am from Big Willie. You see, OB's my primal me. He (or it) is like having an evil Siamese twin. We're bonded at the hippocampus. He doesn't have a voice, he doesn't understand English (or any language for that matter). He's my gift from evolution. He's the primitive crocodile styled inner brain thats truly in charge. If I vow to eat less, OB eats whatever the hell he wants. If I commit to get up at 4:30 and go for a run, OB turns off the alarm and sleeps in. If I swear off drinking beer, OB goes out and gets drunk. I can't shake the guy! He's bad! REALLY BAD! It's like I have 2 brains in my head but one is a troll brain. Granted, many out there have inner trolls much more damning than mine. None the less I've got issues. Here's the detailed graphic of OB's troll brain....

This is not a normal brain.

No matter how hard I try to resist OB, he over rules my intentions and misbehaves. Then, just when I am resigned to the fact I am destined to be a fat slob, ready to give up, OB stops doing what ever the hell he was doing and throws me a bone. He let's ME be in charge! Small victory. I've tried everything to get him to behave. Sometimes I sit down and give myself a 45 minute talk (usually nobody is around). I tell myself to be a little less self-indulgent. I talk to myself about what it is I need to do to stay focused on my goals. Oh yeah and I tell myself, above all other things, STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF!

I hope some of what I am saying is getting through to me!

Somewhere between the sacred and the profane is the Doritos; I don't know how they are made. After proper seasoning, when slowly baked, they can bridge that gap between heaven and earth. ARRRGGGH...I AM THE DORITOS!!!! (Where DID THAT COME FROM????)

I just looked down.....I'm holding the last of what WAS a full bag of Doritos. In my cool ranch encrusted fingers lies the last remnants of the bag, mostly crumbs. My arm is unconsciously hoisting the up-to-now unenjoyed wad to my mouth. A small pile of crumbs is on the floor. Where (the #$%^) did the rest of the bag go?!? Did Shev say to save her some? Where have I been?! OB, you suck!!!! I don't feel very good.

This is me and OB last night.

My wife Shev is the real exercise maniac. She managed some years ago to kill her inner troll off completely. (Almost out of beer OB lets ME finish the rest of this post) Guess that's why she enjoys having me around! In a strange way, love me or hate me....I'm HER OB!

Wife Goes to Extreme Length To Avoid Cleaning Cat Litterbox

My wife departed after work last Friday not for home but for a weekend at Triathlon camp. She was attending the C+C Triatlete Factory held every spring at Camp Wakonda in Mossville, IL. The weekend weather couldn't have been better and everything seemed to be going swimmingly when we spoke on Saturday.  If you want to improve your race and want a great excuses to hang out in a cabin all weekend, this is just the ticket.  For the record, had I told my wife me and the guys were going camping for the weekend to hone our running skill she would have been hard pressed not to fall on the ground laughing.  For good reason, I seem to lack the credibility she does.

Of course, back on planet P.  I was busy being the nurturing caregiver, diligently tending the kids while Shev played trained. In our family, Saturday night is traditionally the evening we spend together watching a movie and eat as much junk food as we can find share time together. Stanley Kubrick's, Full Metal Jacket seemed to me like a natural choice being a Marine and a dad wanting to broaden a child's exposure to the finer arts.  FMJ served as a counterbalance to Sunday's girl scout outing.  We were attending the theatrical performance of "Pinkolicious".  Wow.  Talk about contrast!

Sunday came and we headed for lunch at One World and then to the show.  On my way out the door, the cell phone rang.  It was Shev telling me not to worry.  She'd had a pretty bad wipe out and was heading to the emergency room.  After the initial relief of not having to go to the play, I started to worry.  When I saw the arm, it only reaffirmed the appropriateness of last nights movie. She was diagnosed with a dislocated elbow with a fractured radial head. Bottom line. Yuck!!!!

Before you call it the most senseless and random of accidents.  Say to yourself as I said to myselves, why, did she do this?  If I consider Occam's razor, I must reason that it is a perfectly planned event promoting a great cause. 

But perhaps not everyone is trained, as I am, in Aristotelian logic. Some may have misunderstood the gory spectacle, made hasty conclusions and called out, in strong, clear voices, "Holy," and then a participle and a noun. Others may have addressed a quizzical exclamation to the skies, wondering, "What the," and then the same participle converted to a noun. But not I.  For I know how badly she dislikes changing that box.

Heal up soon Shev.  Twas a foolish thing you did to avoid the stinky chore.  THIS WAS NOT WORTH IT!

Your loving hubby.

Americas Last Employee Not Worried About Job

U.S. News and World Report, 52 minutes ago

Losing 99.99 percent of it's total value, the DOW industrials closed at an unprecedented 9 points today.  The US Department of Labor put the countries private sector unemployment rate at effectively 100%. Yet, through it all, one man, and one man only perseveres.   Though there were more than nine documented indiscretions —including tardiness, gross incompetence, and poor hygiene—in the self-produced employment file, the King Street, St. Louis McDonalds Restaurant employee, Ronald Johnson endures. Mr Johnson is known the world around as America's last employed citizen.  "I get more than a little creeped out from all the people staring at me man," the 29-year-old told reporters Monday. "Stop it already! You know I can't be givin you out free fries!" Although he's done plenty to warrant being fired and cares little about his job Johnson believes his unique skills are critical to his stores sales in these tough economic conditions. "I've got hopes and dreams bigger than this dump," Johnson continued. "I'm only doing this because there's no way I'll ever come close to achieving them dreams. Besides, with no manager around anymore, this job ain't so bad."

"I ain't worried, man," said Jonhnson, who commented when asked if his employer had perhaps forgotten he was on the payroll.  "Fuck that Shit Man!  I'm getting a full-hour lunch break and all the free soda I can carry. I got Responsibilities and a rep. You think this food just magically appears?" 

Rob's Pigs Burn While Kevin Bacon's Facebook Page Brings Down Internet

*** SHAMELESSLY PROMOTING Running Central HERE ****


Saturday was the big 20 miler. Have to say I was dreading it. I am so tired of the cold weather and having to go to bed at 9 on Friday night so I can live through another zero dark thirty meat grinding long run. I was doubly depressed because I got my cholesterol checked at my doctors office and the results were not promising. Basically my blood is the consistency of peanut butter. So when I get cold I figure its twice as hard as normal people to run. I had to listen to my doctors sarcastic comments. "Wow, Rob. Do you really run marathons? You've got the blood of Orville Redenbacher and Colnel Sanders combined!" Look, I said. I don't know. I eat ok. I must come from a long line of dead cholesterol gorillas, that's all.

McGangBang

Anyway. The run was tough. Neltner and Matt Eckberg beat the living daylights out of me for 20 miles made doubly tough for me because of the Kiełbasa sausage grease masquerading as blood and not exactly coursing through oozing through my arteries. I will say that if you have to run 20 miles. The Saturday point to point from the tower to the EP admin buildign is a great route.   IVS has this route with options for 9, 12, 16 and 20 miles.  We had lots of downhill running and that definitely helped me to run a great pace. I'm wearing new shoes! Adam at Running Central sold me these SWEET kicks! Basically they are a pair of spray on thin as paint flats made by Mizuno named the Universe 2.

I am really into the less is more philosohy of shoes. So when I saw these I knew it was love! The Mizuno rep Matt, later told me the longest recorded run he ever knew of anyone logging was 13 miles. Evidently I set some kind of freak show record that should help them stem a liability issue. I am willing to testify in court Matt if you need me! I gotta get the story straight from him but he mentioned they were intended as some kind of concept shoe and were originally priced through the roof. It was basically a $150 shoe to last 150 miles kind of thing. It was supposed to only be in production for about 6 months. That was 2 years ago. The shoe's categorized by the factory as an "expert" series running shoe. My wife fell on the floor laughing about that one (thanks for all the support honey).

SO WHAT if I top out at a svelte 170! So I am not exactly what you might call thier "target" demographic, but I thought I'd try em out and go long. Game on Mizuno! I'm putting 400+ miles on these puppy's! I have to admit my feet were barkin pretty good when I reached the EP Admin building. I definitely had some skin in the game this Saturday. I don't blame the shoe but rather the fact I just haven't done much barefoot running because it's been so cold. My pigs are winter wusses!


So Sunday I spent nursing the wounds and checking the internet out. I cant think of a better way to kill a perfectly good opportunity to do something useful. I like to check out Facebook to see what everyone's doing. Guess they are all wasting their time too. Now, I've been using Facebook for only a couple of months.  Krause first told me about it.  After a few weeks hoping none of the really strange people in the world that I have wronged would find me.  I started just accepting everyone who wanted to be friends.  I think I am up to 6.  No kidding. Then my sister Karye found out about Facebook.  THen she told my sister Gayle, then my DAD! Arrrrg!  Then my mom.  Whoa! Enough is enough!  Can you hear the fun being sucked right out of the ethernet?!?  



Now, with all these people, I gotta watch what I say.  Only here in this corner of cyberspace is it safe to write my most intimate thoughts....here alone where I enjoy total and complete privacy....here where I can hatch my evil plots and not be detected.....(come back rob, you're getting distracted)

Then I started to wonder.....remember those crazy 6 degrees of separation sayings they used to talk about? You know the ones with Kevin Bacon?  It was one of those first date topics back in high school.  As the theory goes, it's said you can tie anyone to Kevin Bacon in 6 degrees of separation or less?  His facebook page would be a thing of wonder! Would it tax the limits of cyberspace?!?  Any you thought the stock market crash was big news.  Stranger things have happend.

 

Passing Time on Your Treadmill

Face it, running on a treadmill is boring.  

You are hot and sweaty. No fresh air.  

Just staring at the wall in front of you hoping the run will end soon?!?  

What to do....... 

Certainly not this!

And this is the "good" version. Hmmmm.

Featured Blog: Amy Lawson

Amys post today is a hoot. 

Arctic Natives Stage Massive Global Warming Protest

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