Monday, May 4, 2009

Wife Goes to Extreme Length To Avoid Cleaning Cat Litterbox

My wife departed after work last Friday not for home but for a weekend at Triathlon camp. She was attending the C+C Triatlete Factory held every spring at Camp Wakonda in Mossville, IL. The weekend weather couldn't have been better and everything seemed to be going swimmingly when we spoke on Saturday.  If you want to improve your race and want a great excuses to hang out in a cabin all weekend, this is just the ticket.  For the record, had I told my wife me and the guys were going camping for the weekend to hone our running skill she would have been hard pressed not to fall on the ground laughing.  For good reason, I seem to lack the credibility she does.

Of course, back on planet P.  I was busy being the nurturing caregiver, diligently tending the kids while Shev played trained. In our family, Saturday night is traditionally the evening we spend together watching a movie and eat as much junk food as we can find share time together. Stanley Kubrick's, Full Metal Jacket seemed to me like a natural choice being a Marine and a dad wanting to broaden a child's exposure to the finer arts.  FMJ served as a counterbalance to Sunday's girl scout outing.  We were attending the theatrical performance of "Pinkolicious".  Wow.  Talk about contrast!

Sunday came and we headed for lunch at One World and then to the show.  On my way out the door, the cell phone rang.  It was Shev telling me not to worry.  She'd had a pretty bad wipe out and was heading to the emergency room.  After the initial relief of not having to go to the play, I started to worry.  When I saw the arm, it only reaffirmed the appropriateness of last nights movie. She was diagnosed with a dislocated elbow with a fractured radial head. Bottom line. Yuck!!!!

Before you call it the most senseless and random of accidents.  Say to yourself as I said to myselves, why, did she do this?  If I consider Occam's razor, I must reason that it is a perfectly planned event promoting a great cause. 

But perhaps not everyone is trained, as I am, in Aristotelian logic. Some may have misunderstood the gory spectacle, made hasty conclusions and called out, in strong, clear voices, "Holy," and then a participle and a noun. Others may have addressed a quizzical exclamation to the skies, wondering, "What the," and then the same participle converted to a noun. But not I.  For I know how badly she dislikes changing that box.

Heal up soon Shev.  Twas a foolish thing you did to avoid the stinky chore.  THIS WAS NOT WORTH IT!

Your loving hubby.


Matt S. said...

Oh my gosh, that looks horrible! I wonder if they have and larger casts to give her?! Heal up quickly Shev, you were so close to passing Rob's fitness level. haha! I was hoping he would get chicked daily by you.

Anonymous said...

I really liked that one. Not brave enough to say who I am though. Got Chicked?

Anonymous said...

Yeah I hear you Matt. I planned on having to trip her when she tried to pass me at Boston. Fortunately it didn't come to that :-)

sloan said...

Chevaun, first, I hope you are healing like the champ you are. And brave, boy howdy. After seeing the x-ray you are definately my hero:)ess.
I am now truly glad that I didn't drop you on your butt trying to help you up. OOPS!
I would like to offer you a session, n/c to see how the muscles and tendons are healing and provide any extra help you need. Truly, please call me. 309-530-3290

Your friend and Admirer

My prayer for you is that you hit IM Wisconsin with your grace and finesse and get that elusive slot to IMWC.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it