Friday, October 31, 2008

Barefoot Rob....AKA Jesus teams up with Chuck Norris!

I get tens of hits to this blog every day.  People from all over the country check in regularly( except a few Red states that will remain nameless).  Runners follow this blog not because I pay them, but for the hard hitting journalism and extensive coverage of the sport of running you can only get here.  This site, Faster-than-Schroff is my dedication to me someday kicking Dave Schroff's ass in every distance event ever invented except ultras (because they really suck).   Yet, I am also about SOOO much more.....I'm also about being one with running and loving all of nature (oh yeah and into all that family crap too, blah blah blah).  So in pusuit of a perect soul, I am about loving every bee and stepping over the ants on the trail (sorry, little guys, if you come in my house your toast!).  On the other hand, I have an awesome roundhouse kick!  And still, at the same time, I am about barefoot running. Not just because shoes hurt the world, pollute the environment, make me insensitive, and are used in war, but because I am as tough as rawhide and I have an incredible threshold for pain!  Still, I cry on movie night when we watch Beaches or Steele Magnolias.  I've been known to listen to Kenny Logins.  Yet being a Marine, I will not hesitate to kill a suspcted terrorist with my bare hands.  For all I am... For all I do... for all of us, the democrats will not to tax me.  I am very special and you are very lucky to be reading this.  Even still, something is not quite right.  I mean, I can do the running, but I cant quite make a total transition from regular runner to barefoot runner.  Really, I feel it's more mental than physical.  I lack a certain style.  I visit the other popular barefoot running sites (you know, the MEGA sites) and notice most guys have beautiful gray but full mane's of scraggly hair and long beards.  They kind of look like fit grateful dead fans.  I WANT THAT LOOK! But, I can't seem to be able to grow facial hair on that scale.  Plus, unlike Jesus, I work in a factory where barefooting is seriously frowned on.  Oh, well.  Screw you OSHA!  

So, if I wan’t to be both the bad ass and the freaky crunchy granola guy.  Just imagine me to be a shoeless Chuck Norris/Jesus!  Maybe not quite like this guy but close....POW!

So Schroffy, on one hand, I give you strength (brother) to carry on while at the same time I promise to never relent in my pursuit to kick your ass!  Awesome isn’t it?

Your bud,


P.S.  Do they have the Internet in North Dakota yet?


Schroff said...

Rob, while I love your website and am truly flattered that it bears my name, I have to give you some bad news. You are never going to be faster than Schroff! Keep up the good work...


krauseinthehouse said...

Question: are you attempting to be faster-than-schroff while bare foot? that is a scary photo.