Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Faster-Than-Schroff Editor Rob F. Goes for World Record At Chicago!


I want to get you all fired up before your marathon.

In a couple of days I will make another attempt to run the Chicago Marathon.  I am struggling to recover from the heat-inflicted debacle last fall that resulted in cancellation of the event midway.  This year the race will feature Olympic champion Constantina Tomescu-Dita, a noted front-runner who broke away early to win in Beijing. Constantina and I go way back (She had a thing for me when she came to P-Town but I was already spoken for).  Tomescu-Dita will be challenged by 2007 Chicago runner-up and fellow Romanian Adriana Pirtea, who raised her arms in victory last year before being outsprinted (and humiliated) by stealthy Ethiopian Berhane Adere. The two-time defending champ, Adere also returns.  As for the men; lets just say 2nd and 3rd is anyones guess.

IN CHICAGO I WILL ATTEMPT TO SET A NEW WORLD RECORD IN THE MARATHON!!!!!!

Although I've not yet broken 3:10 in the 26.2 mile event, I feel I have a (more than) decent shot at a setting a new world record (there I said it)!  It's not going to be easy to shave 1:09:02 off my best to date run, but I feel a duty to Midwestern Irishmen everywhere in the Midwest to bring the record back home to the good ol' US of A where it belongs!  My people have a long unexpected history of running faster than Africans.  I know some of you are doubting this, but there is so much more to me than my drop dead gorgeous looks!  I have a VERY efficient running body.  Get this!  Despite the fact Michael Phelps and I are training with the exact same diet, I managed gain weight this training cycle while he merely (barely) maintains!  Phelps, Olympic champion and winner of 8 gold medals, cannot match my silky smooth 12 cylinder alcohol fueled Delorian gull winged bod!  My substantial specimen sips at the racing fuel like a Prius despite the more than 50 miles of vigorous running per week!  I fly....he dies! 
When I think back to my PR at Boston (3:11:01) in 2007, much thought goes into how exactly I allowed Bob Cheruiyot to beat me.  One big factor was his experience.  He has won Boston several times (2003,2006,2007, and 2008).  So he knew the course past, present, and in the future.  I think that gave him an edge. Then there is the hospitality scandal thing that everyone keeps mentioning.  While he keeps getting invited back to run for money, I get treated like crap (or should I say Carp)!  While I was soaking in a muddy field at the athletes village, he was no doubt sipping lattes in a warm coffee house near the start.  

I am a much stronger runner than he is when I run my own race, but when it comes to setting a world record that's been much of the problem.  Had I been racing against bob C, I would have been likely on WR pace.  When bob is in the lead, he backs off and takes it easy!  Plus, they (the poopy faced trolls at Boston) put me sooooo far back from him at the start!  I couldn't even see him.  It really wasn't even a realistic competition.  You should have seen the guys I had to stand with.

As I begin my taper, I feel stronger than a whole army of Schroffs.  Given that I am in the A corral and the course is as flat as a pancake I will have a much better shot.  Bobby C is not coming this year, no doubt influenced by how well I've been running my workouts.  William Kipsang ran a 2:05 at Rotterdam last April and I am looking forward to getting a piece of him!  I finally found a decent pair of shoes so watch out!  

1 comment:

Lawrencia said...

Well written article.